Having failed at the very first stage of the most important exam of my life, I should feel like I am at my lowest. However, I do not feel this is my worst. Probably because of far more horrible things of the past-falling sick for a couple of months before exam, being emotionally troubled in several phases of the last one year and the quiet pain of the examination day, 3rd June. The impact of 3rd June 2018 on my heart and mind is so deep and tangled, I do not even wish to think about it again.

There are only two things I feel right now or have come to realise:

1. Whatever it is that I am going through, however horrible and painful, sulking won’t help. Wasting time being sad is not the solution. At the end of another year, it won’t matter again, I will overcome it. The only thing that will matter is- Did I achieve what I set out to achieve?
2. This is not the end of the vivid life I have imagined for myself. This is like a hairpin bend on a mountain road. I need to make a 180 degree turn to move ahead, i.e. drastically change how I function. This is indeed a tough phase, not the beginning nor the end, just the messy middle phase.

But, we shall overcome, someday.