The last I went to Qutub Minar was in September 2022. It was the Monday after finishing essay & GS papers. Optional and language papers were due the upcoming weekend. It was my second mains in a year and I was feeling so dismal that day that I couldn’t sleep the whole night and kept breaking down thinking of innumerable things.

I woke up on that Monday morning and thought I need a change. I need a change of space to feel a little recharged to study again for optional. I left home and I went to Qutub Minar. I thought I would watch sunrise there, walk around and it might make me feel better.

Unlike how I wanted, it was a cloudy, gloomy day. I was clouded with thoughts, numb with emotions, hopelessly moving from one day to another. I felt so sad, I would pause around different pillars around the monument and just look around in awe of this human creation.

When you don’t have enough hope and strength inside, you look for it urgently everywhere. I was looking for it in the monument too. Thinking if the monument standing alone all these years can know my predicament. Can know how it feels to stand alone for so many years, facing the sun, rains, storm and heat.

Yesterday, I went to Qutub Minar, after 300 days. And today when I thought about the difference between the two days, it felt as if it were not merely two different years— it were two different seasons of my life. The previous season lasted too long, made me hopeless and empty from the inside. And here’s a season of peace which makes me feel grateful and grateful only.

And in the words and photographs relating to the two days, it becomes so obvious, so very obvious, that our lives are made up of turnaround stories. That days of gloom lead us to joy. That those who persist and hope, ultimately find days full of light. That if your intentions are pure, and you haven’t wronged people, all the good you give out comes back to your own life.

The universe echoes our thoughts and emotions. It is no simple place made up of atoms and molecules. It’s a world of magic where your realities are created with your heart’s deepest desires. Where there is cosmic justice which brings you good, takes away the wrongs. Where in hindsight, every horrid experience was a test. A test to test if you’ll break or recreate yourself in the face of hardships. A test to see if you’ll still be good in the midst of darkness?

I wrote a little something that day, in September 2022, it’s in hindi but in the Roman Script. As I looked back on it I felt wowed. Wowed how the words and pictures of that day echoes how I felt then, what I experienced then—

Alag alag kono se qutub minar ko nihara
Best places to see sunrise in delhi ke google search me qutub minar hamesha aata hain

Mujhe suraj ki photo leni thi
Aur har jagah badal hi badal the
Toh bas yunhi dekhti rahi alag qutub minar ko akele khade hokar

Uss minar ke akelepan ko bhi dekha, uske khade rehne ko bhi dekha
Pucha usse ki kya akele ho isilie khade reh paye?
Ya khade rehne ke lie akela hona para?
Ya akrle khade the isilie itne lambe wakt reh paye?

Akele kya kya dekha tumne yaha, kya kuch nahi beeti tumpe.
Bahar se toh ziada nahi badle, par duniya kitni dekh li tumne

Andar kuch toh badla hoga
Kathur toh nahi ho gaye tum?
Duniya ziada dekh lena aksar kathur bana deta hain,
Komal bhavnaon ko patthar,
Saral hriday ko vyavharik bana deta hain,

Kuch log kahenge ki tumhara khada rehna bohot badi safalta hain,
Main kahungi ki iss duniya ka achcha bura uss unchaai se dekh ke khada rehna ziada badi safalta hain.

Jab ziada thak jao apne sthiti pe,
Toh apne paas udd rahe hawai jahaaz ko dekh lena, uski khoobsurti tumhare paas hone se badh jati hain,

Aankhein agar neeche karo toh unn anginat logo ko dekhna,
Jo bas tunhare paas khade hone saat samundar paar se aate hain,

Aur kabhi kabhi unn logo ko jo kuch tumhare hi vyakulta ke alag alag siro ko jee rahe hain.

And here are pictures from yesterday:

And what does it tell me?

That the world is made up of part reason, part absurdity— but you hold on to the small & big dreams of your life. You wish for it, pray for it. And on many days out of nowhere, bit by bit, sometimes some of them, other times some other of them will come true. And when that happens, renew your faith in the universe & its plans. To always remember-

मन का हो तो अच्छा ; मन का ना हो, तो ज़्यादा अच्छा क्यूँकि फिर वो ईश्वर के मन का हो रहा है ; और ईश्वर हमेशा आपका अच्छा ही चाहेगा— हरिवंशराय बच्चन